excited about life

so, here i am at 11:30 on a sunday night, thinking about my life and where i am and where i want to be. i don't know about you, but the comparison has some big gaps! YIKES! sitting through my sister's seminary graduation brought back a whole flood of memories. things about my life i wish i could take back. regrets about choices i made when i was young and dumb. (but i guess i'm still that way now, aren't i)? i'm looking for happiness but am very unsure where and if i will find it.

i recently thought about this quote from neal a maxwell about patience:

"Patience is not indifference. Actually, it is caring very much, but being willing, nevertheless, to submit both to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the 'process of time.'”

"process of time." that sets someone's nerves onto the edge, doesn't it! the actuality that you'll really have to wait for what you want until you in reality get it. what a scary concept, but looking back, my whole life seems to have been full of waiting. i've waited and waited for things, but they haven't come. then it dawned on me! i haven't been looking hard enough! i desire happiness; i want to eat, sleep, live in it, yet i'm not working to find it at all! maybe passively i am, but that just ain't cuttin' it for me! so here's to pursuing after those dreams! here's to pursuing after what i want out of life! smiles, laughter, tears, and the knowledge that i'm doing what i'm supposed to be doing where i should be doing it! here's to the implementation of the greatest lessons i've ever learned!