Why?

Why do I continuously have a feeling that I'm mission something? Am I supposed to buy every single thing in the store before I feel like I'm ready? Do I just need to memorize the bible, book of mormon, d&c, and all the others before I feel comfortable??? I just want this feeling to go away!
But on a good note, my farewell went really well! I rewrote my talk the night before, hoping to acheive the feeling and get the subject right on. I was ok with it the night before, but 15 minutes before the meeting, I went through it and was not pleased with it! But I read it anyways, and even though I thought it sucked, everyone told me it was great!
After all my friends and family left, our wonderful neightbors, the Bruckers, came over! He went to the same mission I went to AND his boss is my mission president! How nice of a set up is that?! He came to talk to me about a few things about the area, some helpful hints were given, favors asked, etc. He told me a of a few traditions that were passed to him!
He started by giving me a pecan and told me that settlers would plant these and people would ask them why they were planting a tree that wouldn't produce fruit for 60-70 years, when they could plant an apple or orange tree and actually get some fruit from it! These settlers told those people that they weren't planting the pecans for themselves, they were doing it for their children! That story has a great lesson to learn from it, and Brayden told me to keep the nut in my pocket so whenever the message I'm trying to pass along to someone gets rejected, I can just hold onto it and remember that story and move on hoping I planted a seed and someone down the road will receive the message!
Then he told me that when he landed in San Antonio, they took him to the Alamo and told him the story of it and I can't really remember what he told me, but when asked to cross the line drawn in the sand, the people who supported the cause of those involved crossed it. As they crossed the line, so did hi, in support of OUR cause there! And when he left, they asked him to cross the line to support the cause at home! He wasn't sure if they still do that, but we're both hoping they do because both of those traditions sound like a great way to start and end a mission!!
After talking to him, I feel a little better about going to Texas, not that I ever felt bad about it either! I'm really excited to get into the MTC and get started on the next year and a half! And not that I'm counting, but I've got 15 days until I leave!!!